Just a reminder that tomorrow we have a growth ultrasound at 8:30 a.m.
The ultrasound is at the high-risk center we have gone to before where we got those great 3D pictures.
Please wish us luck that Joaquin is growing on track (or ahead of schedule!) and that everything else looks good. We will share the pictures tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
What a Difference a Year Makes
One year ago today, Jay and I officially lost our first child. We had known that our baby was no longer living for a few, extremely painful, days, but on October 12, 2009, I had a D&C and our pregnancy was officially over.
I don't think I will ever forget the feeling of pure agony and sadness that I felt as we drove home after the procedure. Until that moment it really had not hit me that it was all over. I cried uncontrollably. I had no idea what to do next, how I was just supposed to move on, go back to work, function normally and try again, knowing that I would be risking experiencing this pain again if I did. Nothing could have possibly prepared me for the devastation that I felt.
Very slowly, I started to feel like myself again. But I don't think that anyone who has gone through that experience is ever really the same again. It is not something that is possible to forget. But, I gradually went from thinking about our loss every minute of every day to every hour, to a few times a day and now I think about it probably every other day, but the feelings are not as raw.
Today, one year after our loss, Jay and I are so incredibly happy to be where we are. We are only a few weeks away from welcoming our son into this world and have never been so excited about anything before. And, while neither of us believes that bad things happen for a reason, we do believe that people have the ability to find some good in a bad situation.
Because of what we went through, we have absolutely no doubt that we are ready to be parents. We appreciate how lucky we are in a way we never would have before. We are more sensitive to other people who have experienced a loss or had trouble trying to have children. We are truly grateful for what we have. It is a lot harder to feel sorry for yourself when you are stuck at home on a beautiful day due to bed rest when you went through hell just to get (and stay) pregnant in the first place.
When Jay and I finally decided we were ready to try to start a family in July of 2009, I never would have guessed that we would have this experience. I certainly would never have guessed that my body would either be pregnant, or be recovering from a pregnancy for over a year before I would actually have a baby to take home. But I have a feeling that when we finally meet our little Joaquin, we will know that this was all worth it.
I don't think I will ever forget the feeling of pure agony and sadness that I felt as we drove home after the procedure. Until that moment it really had not hit me that it was all over. I cried uncontrollably. I had no idea what to do next, how I was just supposed to move on, go back to work, function normally and try again, knowing that I would be risking experiencing this pain again if I did. Nothing could have possibly prepared me for the devastation that I felt.
Very slowly, I started to feel like myself again. But I don't think that anyone who has gone through that experience is ever really the same again. It is not something that is possible to forget. But, I gradually went from thinking about our loss every minute of every day to every hour, to a few times a day and now I think about it probably every other day, but the feelings are not as raw.
Today, one year after our loss, Jay and I are so incredibly happy to be where we are. We are only a few weeks away from welcoming our son into this world and have never been so excited about anything before. And, while neither of us believes that bad things happen for a reason, we do believe that people have the ability to find some good in a bad situation.
Because of what we went through, we have absolutely no doubt that we are ready to be parents. We appreciate how lucky we are in a way we never would have before. We are more sensitive to other people who have experienced a loss or had trouble trying to have children. We are truly grateful for what we have. It is a lot harder to feel sorry for yourself when you are stuck at home on a beautiful day due to bed rest when you went through hell just to get (and stay) pregnant in the first place.
When Jay and I finally decided we were ready to try to start a family in July of 2009, I never would have guessed that we would have this experience. I certainly would never have guessed that my body would either be pregnant, or be recovering from a pregnancy for over a year before I would actually have a baby to take home. But I have a feeling that when we finally meet our little Joaquin, we will know that this was all worth it.
A request
For all of the family members who plan on visiting when Joaquin is a newborn, we have a request. There has been much talk lately about whooping cough and its potentially lethal consequences to newborn babies.
Jay has gotten his vaccine for whooping cough (pertussis) and I will be getting mine at Hoaq following the birth.
We would greatly appreciate if those of you planning to visit with Joaquin regularly would also obtain this vaccine. We had no problem getting the vaccine for Jay from his primary care physician, so I don't imagine that this should be difficult for others to obtain as well.
Please let us know if you have any questions. Thank you!
A brief article on Pertussis can be found here.
Jay has gotten his vaccine for whooping cough (pertussis) and I will be getting mine at Hoaq following the birth.
We would greatly appreciate if those of you planning to visit with Joaquin regularly would also obtain this vaccine. We had no problem getting the vaccine for Jay from his primary care physician, so I don't imagine that this should be difficult for others to obtain as well.
Please let us know if you have any questions. Thank you!
A brief article on Pertussis can be found here.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Ticker Change Thursday - 34 Weeks
Joaquin is 34 weeks today and still about the size of a honeydew melon. His fat layers — which will help regulate his body temperature once he's born — are filling him out, making him rounder. His skin is also smoother than ever. His central nervous system is maturing and his lungs are continuing to mature as well. The great news is that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.
How far along? 34 weeks
Weight gain/loss: I'm up a total of 31 pounds.
Sleep? Sleep is becoming much harder these days. I think I just do not expend enough energy during the day anymore to feel really tired at night.
Best moment this week? College football on Saturday was great - UCLA won, Notre Dame won and USC lost. A rare "perfect day."
Movement: In the last day it seems like his movement has slowed down a bit. Hopefully it is just because he's getting too big and running out of room.
Food cravings: Eh - I barely have an appetite these days. I only eat because I know I am supposed to.
What I miss? Leaving the house!!
What I am looking forward to? I have a baby book themed work baby shower coming up, which should be fun and a chance to escape the house for at least a tiny bit. Also - our u/s next Wednesday morning.
Milestones: One week away from 35 weeks - which is when my OB will not stop labor!
What I'm nervous about: I'm nervous that I'll go crazy in the next few weeks being stuck at home all the time.
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