Sleep Training Continued, Sort of

On Wednesday, Jay and I decided that we did not want to continue any sleep training that involved making Joaquin cry (not just fuss) for long periods of time unattended. Despite reading that it was perfectly fine, we felt very uncomfortable with it. We decided to put sleep training on hold while I did some more research. This decision was mostly prompted by my learning that Ferber himself recommended his approach starting at 5-6 months. Each month of an infant's life is so different, that it seemed unwise to start any extreme sleep training early. I sort of wondered why everyone seems so comfortable using Ferber so early.

So, I began reading the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I am about half way through at this point and we are implementing its recommendations. They are somewhat more nuanced than the Ferber method, which I think reflects a deeper understanding of sleep problems, habits and childrens' needs.

To boil it down, the book stresses the importance of at least two naps during the day - one around 9:00 am and one around 1:00 pm, with a wake up time around 7:00 am and a bedtime around 6:00 or 6:30 pm. A third nap around 3:00 is also desirable though difficult to achieve and may be short. The other two naps are supposed to be at least one hour, preferably two. The book does not require parents to put babies down to sleep awake, which leads to crying. It requires consistency - either soothe to sleep for each nap or put them down to nap awake. Don't go back and forth. At night the same thing goes (although you can vary the method from nap time). Babies Joaquin's age should wake up only two times to eat until they are nine months, at which point they should only have one mid-night meal.

So, I have been allowing Joaquin to nurse to sleep for naps, which has worked very consistently lately. At night, we go through his whole routine of bathing, nursing, burping and then we put him down awake. Jay does a sort of reverse Ferber method - soothing him by rubbing his back for about ten minutes and then letting him fuss (but not scream) for several minutes to see if he falls asleep. Then he repeats the process as needed. Last night it took about 25 minutes to get him to sleep and he never screamed or appeared scared. He just fussed. What a relief.

He woke up around 11:30 for his first meal. I nursed him, then put him in his crib awake. Jay went in to rub his back for a few minutes, then let him fuss. He fell asleep almost immediately.

We repeated the same routine at around 4:00 am. I couldn't believe how he had slept that long - normally he wakes up at around 2:00 am too. At around 5:00 am, he woke up again and started crying. I told Jay not to go to him for a few minutes. He fussed for about five minutes and then went back to sleep on his own until 7:00 on the dot. Success!!

Hopefully we can keep this going. If so, our days and nights will be much more predictable and we will all be better rested.